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Seduce Your Life- Step 4: Enjoyment

This week is all about letting go, and staying open to what life has up it’s sleeve, otherwise known as the art of enjoying your adventures.

That’s right, Sweetheart, step four of seducing your life is all about enjoyment.  What a great homework assignment, right?  You get to just relax and go out there and enjoy all your hard work prepping for your weekly adventures.  Watch it all happen just like you planned… eh, maybe not.

Hate to break it to you, but it’s not always going to work out like that.  Committing to really enjoying your life is harder than it initially seems.  If you went out on your weekend adventure, (and I know you did, right?) maybe you experienced this already, or if you haven’t yet, know that eventually you will: you will be disappointed or feel like your adventure failed, otherwise known as “Shit did not turn out as I expected.”

When everything is going swell, or just as planned, it’s easy to stay open and surrender – to enjoy the deliciousness rolling into you.  It’s when it does not go as plan that we tend to stop enjoying and stop playing in our lives.  We get discouraged.  We get disappointed.  We even give up.

The thing is, no one gets what they want the very first try.  It’s going to be a process.  Your adventures and goals are going to go awry.  You will have snafus and, ahem, what shall I call them?  You will have “unexpected results.”

They key is to plan adventures with an open mind and a sense of humor.  Expect to be delighted or at least amused at whatever shows up.  Detach from expecting one certain outcome, not because you can’t have it or because it won’t eventually happen for you,  but because it’s easier and more enjoyable when you don’t need it too.

How do we do this?  Know that what you want is on it’s way to you.  You just don’t get to control the timing of it, the where or the when. And by constricting around, getting tight and controlling about it, you are actually pushing it farther away from you, and having a sucky time in the meantime while waiting for it.  It’s lose-lose.

Think about it.  Do you know someone who can’t be happy unless one very specific thing happens.  A girlfriend who is very controlling and a perfectionist. A night out isn’t a success to her unless the hottest guy at the bar or club or scene hits on her.  She can’t be happy unless she weighs less than 115 pounds.  She is never satisfied with the way her party turned out even if everyone else is thrilled.

lifedoesn27thangaround0asomeonewhoiscontrolling0aorcontractingarounda0adesire-whoisn27tplayful2cfun2-defaultThese people are not fun to be around.  They are not lighthearted, or joyful.  Even when they get what they want,  they still aren’t very happy or satisfied. This kind of energy is deeply unpleasant to be around, and the same is true for Life. Life doesn’t want to be around someone who is controlling and contracting around a desire — who isn’t playful and fun and happy, ie. willing to be delighted.  It looks for people who are open to being delighted by it.

The more you stay open to whatever is happening right in front of you the more creative you can be and the faster it will happen for you. And as a big bonus, you get to have fun while doing it.  You get to find beauty and joy in the process of getting what you want, not just in the having of it.  That’s kind of a big deal.

So your job is to enjoy your adventures (and your life) regardless of how it all pans out.   However, the moment shit goes sideways we often shut down.  The moment it doesn’t look like how we imagined it would be we close ourselves off from life.

You plan a picnic, and the sprinkler’s unexpectedly go off, or there’s a torrential downpour out of nowhere, or the a runaway dog tromps muddy paw prints thru the middle of your picnic.  He ruins your beautiful blanket.  He steals the sandwiches and there is now lemonade everywhere.

It would be mighty tempting to consider all of this a fail.  Your adventure didn’t pay off, it didn’t go as planned and it is “ruined.”  It’s tempting to pout or feel hurt by this.  You may be disappointed or thinks it’s not worth the effort.  However if you do this, it’s game over for you.  No more choices.  End of story.

But what if you did something different?  What if you stayed open to whatever is happening? If you can do that you’re still in the game.  You still have choices.  You can still play and have fun.  You can get a better ending.

If you don’t get in a huff and shut down, you and your bestie might have a fantastic story about how the sprinklers came on at your picnic, a shared memory of your misadventures that you get to bond and laugh over every time you get together.

If you stay open that torrential rainstorm and don’t give up on play and fun, it might mean you and your date breathlessly run to the car and in-between laughing and trying to catch your breath, you share your first kiss, right there by the car, in the rain, soaking wet.  And that’s the story of your first kiss — shared breathlessly, romantically in the rain.

What if the owner of the unruly dog is a hunky shirtless very fit jogger, who happens to be tall dark and handsome apologizing profusely and wanting to make it up to you?  Or what if the owner is just the person you’ve been wanting to meet to get your career started?  She is the incredible publisher or agent or business owner you’ve been needing to meet? Now you have the perfect way to finagle a meeting: guilt.

If you shut down, you’ll miss all that.  And all of that? that’s where the magic is.  Magic themagicyou27relooking0aforoftenfirstshowsup0aasmisadventureordisaster0abeforeitturnsintothemiracle0-defaultoften first shows up as misadventure before it turns into the true beauty.  Cinderella’s hard work and beautiful dress is shredded and life looks pretty damn grim, before her Fairy Godmother can show up. That’s how magic is. Imagine if she had given up and sent the Fairy Godmother away because she was busy pouting.

So how do we put all this being open and surrendering to what is happening in practice?  By letting go of our attachments to one desired outcome and staying open.  One easy way is to admit that when you have an attachment.

Before you go out on an adventure, a date you’ve planned for yourself, or anything.  Take 10 minutes to connect with yourself.  If you need something to happen to be happy, admit it to yourself.  Sometimes just knowing and being aware is enough to give yourself a little wiggle room and to have a sense of humor about whatever happens.

Allow yourself to want what you want.  But also, allow yourself to know it’s coming to you.  It’s on it’s way, life wants you to have it, you are figuring it out as you go, but you don’t get to decide the when or where — the timing.  Your job is to relax and enjoy the process as much as you can, in order to speed it up.  Just relax and find what pleasure, joy and beauty you can.

And when you can’t, know that that’s ok too, and let yourself off the hook.  You’ll get it next time.  Then be open to whatever unfolds, and play.  That’s it.  Just keep playing and practicing that art of laughing at yourself and life whatever happens.

Thanks so much for watching and reading.  Have a great week.  See you next time!

D.

Journal Prompt: Imagine if you could have lunch with… Accessing Inner Wisdom

Many times we already know the answer, or at least the right direction to go in, but it can be tough to trust our answers or get access to that information when we’re just us. Acting as a wiser, deeper, smarter, better person can free us up to find that information for ourselves.

This prompt might seem frivolous but it is an excellent way to free up your mind to access your inner wisdom.

Imagine someone you are dying to have lunch with, an idol, an ancestor, a character in a book, anyone who you think you would just love to get to know.

Now think of 5, and only 5 questions you would ask them.  What would you want to know?  weusuallyalreadyknow0atheanswerwe27relooking0aforit27sjusthardtogetthere0awhenwe27restuckinourheads0-default.pngAre you lusting to know how the mega-millionaire tycoon made his bucks?  Or how he had the audacity to even do it?  Or do you want to know what it was like for Lauren Bacall to be a femme fatale in the 40s?  Or do you want to know the secrets of how your spiritual guru became so spiritual?

Once you’ve picked out your questions you know something very interesting.  You know a little more about what’s calling for your attention in your own life and where you want to go.  But you’re not done yet.

Second Imagine becoming the person you want to go to lunch with.  Imagine where you’d have lunch, or brunch or coffee with this person.  Really close your eyes and connect with the energy of that person.  Now answer your questions as this person.

Many times we already know the answer, or at least the right direction to go in, but it can be tough to trust our answers or get access to that information when we’re just us.  Acting as a wiser, deeper, smarter, better person can free us up to find that information for ourselves. Or at the very least, get creative with problem solving.

Beauty & Means: A few of my favorite things #3

In this edition of a few of my favorite things I share with you my favorite writing pens:

Le Pen by Uchida, link to a box of 12 in my fave color so far, Orchid on Amazon.com.

And here is a sampler set of all their colors so you can find your fave, right here.

And second I share my favorite lip chap.  Did I mention I’m obsessed with chapstick and lip balm?  Like, can’t get enough, have to have some form of chapstick in every purse, every room, by the bed, at work?  Yeah. True story.

Out of all the balm I buy, hoard and cherish, none beats this bad boy:  it’s the Sugar Lip Treatment by Fresh.  I give this stuff out as gifts and thereby,  get friends and family as equally hooked as I, thus ensuring they always continue to make this stuff.

You can find the plain jane clear lip treatment on the website for Fresh, it’s their sugar lip treatment (and to be honest this is the one I usually buy).  It works great as a base for lipsticks, making them go on super smooth, after a little blotting, but you can also find gorgeous sheer colors to please any palette.

Find all the majestic colors here.

They can also be found on Sephora, just in case that’s easier for you.

Enjoy, have fun! And as always, please let me know your favorites in the comments below.

All my love,

D.

Why Not Try… An Epic Summer Movie Night?

 

Your adventure challenge this week?  How about a really  epic, fun and ah-mazing Summer Movie Night!?  Don’t just settle for heading to the movie theater this summer, make your own custom fantabulous movie night.

First, think location.  Do you want a night in alone out on the patio under the stars?  Or is this a date night with a movie in the park, blankets and a picnic basket?  Maybe it’s time for a girls’ night.  Or a neighborhood movie party in the backyard with a rented projector?  Maybe a retro drive-in movie with a bestie?

 

Second, pick a killer movie!  Think about your flashback favorites, stuff from your childhood or beyond. Or choose a movie you missed.  Whatever you choose, summer time is the time for movies that go big or go home.  Choose romantic comedies with big laughs and outrageous scenarios, or dramas that really tug at the heart strings, or go for over-the-top action flicks.  Make it fun!

Third, figure out your food!  Sure you can buy candy and haul it in, or you can get luxe with this bad boy and go for the glory.  How about decadent flourless chocolate cake, cheese cake or incredible, mind-blowing sundaes?  How about rootbeer floats?

Popcorn? Make it yourself. It’s easy and so much better that way.  Use real butter or go online and find some fun flavoring you can do yourself.  Like Parmesan Rosemary, or truffle oil.  Something you could never get at the local movie joint.

Fourth, accessorize.  Bring blankets and pillows out onto to the porch. Lanterns?  Twinkle lights?  Make the space special and celebratory in small easy ways. You’re worth it!

Have fun with and let me know what you think!

Below, a few movie ideas to get you started.

Romance:

  • 16 Candles
  • The Princess Bride
  • Dirty Dancing
  • The Great Gatsby
  • Endless Love
  • About Time
  • About a Boy
  • The Beautician and the Beast
  • West Side Story
  • 100 First Dates
  • Working Girl

Action:

  • Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
  • Die Hard
  • Howard the Duck
  • Bad Boys
  • The Lost Boys
  • Tango and Cash
  • Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
  • Beverly Hills Cop
  • Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol
  • Jack Reacher

How to Be Seduced by Your Life — Step 3: Anticipation & Adventure

 

The last couple of weeks we talked about where to put your attention.  This week, we get to the good stuff.  This week it’s all about adventure and anticipation.

Imagine if you will, going on a first date with a guy or gal you consider lackluster.  Maybe he’s just not your usual type, maybe you don’t feel the chemistry, but in a weak moment, you say yes.  As the date approaches you begin to dread it more and more.  And just when you’re about to back out of it, you open up your phone to find a text message from him:

“Hey, I remembered you saying how you liked French food. I found the best French restaurant in the city.  It’s supposed to be romantic and they are well-known for making a killer version of a classic French desert… Can you guess which one?  See you then!”

Now your sort of intrigued and touched.  Romantic dinner at a restaurant you’ve never
been to, eating food you happen to love?  Um, yes please.  Plus he remembered you saying what you liked.  He was actually paying attention to you.

So you decide not to bail on the date.  And a day or so before the big night, you find this text from him:

“Hey, I just wanted to let you know to make sure to bring a pair of comfortable shoes Friday night.  I found a little secret city garden within walking distance of the restaurant.  I know you like gardens and being outdoors.  I thought we’d check it out.  They light it up at night and it’s supposed to be spectacular.  See you then!”

Now, you’re actually excited about this date.  You adore secret nature spots in the city, and walking after dinner and talking to him should be a lot of fun.  In fact, this guy is starting to seem more and more like Mr. Right.

So what happened?  How did you go from bored and filled with dread to being enticed and seduced, –excited even about this date with this great guy?  Well, your date knew the power of anticipation.

He listened and paid attention to what you liked and wanted, and then he set about making that happen, all while enticing you with details along the way.  It’s the perfect recipe for anticipation.  And you can use that same recipe to entice, seduce and anticipate your own life.

somanyofusapproachour0aliveswiththesamesort0aofenthusiasmwehavefor0agoingonafirstdatewith0asomeonewe-default.pngWhy did I chose a lackluster first date with a so-so guy or gal?  For a very good reason.  So many of us approach our lives with the same sort of enthusiasm we have for going on a first date with someone were just not that into.  That is to say, we dread, complain, drag our feet or bail on it.  Go on a date with myself? Ugh, do I have to?

We often expect our lives to just show up for us– to be exciting and fun, while we kick back and relax.  Our lives are just  supposed to come to us magically ready made.  But if you don’t invest in your life? If you don’t show up for it?  It will never show up for you.

So I want you to take a month to plan little weekend adventure dates for yourself (although you can definitely bring others along, but you must be the planner of the event).  The hard work is already done.  You’ve been journaling about all the things you like, love and long for for a couple of weeks now.  Now all you have to do is take that information and use it to create the perfect little slice of life adventure for yourself.

If you’re craving quiet “me” time, take a good book and head to Starbucks.  Put the phone on silent do-not-disturb mode and read, sip coffee and bliss out for an hour.  If life is a little dull and you have fond memories of your life of culture, as a fine arts student in college, get yourself on weekend date to a play, an art show, a museum, anything that scratches the itch.alotoftimesweexpect0aourlivestoshowupfor0aus-tobeexciting26fun2c0abutunlessyouinvestin0ayourlife2cun-default

The key is to plan it in advance and mark that baby out on your schedule. Next you must do the hardest part of all.  You must actually show up for yourself.  If you make the date sound like so much delicious fun than it will be easier for you to show up, but, in the end you also simply make it a priority.  You must show up for your life first, before it will be willing to show up for you.

Have fun and see you next week!

 

Beauty & Means: A Few of My Favorite Things #2

Hey Everyone!  In this edition of Favorite Things I have two items I think you’re going to like.  Links below on where to find it online!  Thanks for watching!  See you next week.

 

  1. “The Red Notebook” can be found on Amazon right here.  It’s a small but great little read by Parisian author, Antoine Laurain.
  2. Fresh makes a lot of great soaps.  You can find them on Sephora here.  Or at their website here.

On Sephora I really like the Mangosteen or the Freesia for a girly smell, or the Citron de Vigne for a more neutral to masculine smell.  They’re $15 but they last forever!

On their website I love the Petit bar in Gardenia Magnolia.  It smells so good to me, and it is very feminine.  Or in the Oval bar, the Hesperides is a light citrusy grapefruit that is gender neutral.  Either way, you can’t go wrong!

 

 

Journal Prompt: the Buddhist Prayer

This weeks’s journal prompt has us starting with the traditional Buddhist Prayer for Compassion which begins, “May you be well.  May you be safe.” etc.  Deriving from it’s basic structure, we can make our own prayer for compassion.

To get started, think about the things you would wish for yourself now and in the future.  What would you like to succeed at?  What area in your life would you like to see more ease and less strife in?  What are you longing for?  What are the words of comfort you wish someone would say to you right now?

Use those ideas, and follow along in the video to create your own Prayer for Compassion .  Have fun with it, and for inspiration I’ve given you a free printable version of my personal Morning Mantra for Compassion and Love, in three lovely colors.

I hope that kickstarts some great thoughts for you!  Thanks for watching.

See you next week,

Desiree

Adventure Challenge of the Week: Paris in your Local Farmer’s Market? Yes!

 

Paris in the summer is filled with open air markets on every street corner.  Vendors who know your name, beautiful produce in dazzling colors, an adorable basket or tote to carry all your goods in, and lots of glamorous people watching.  Isn’t it romantic?

We girly girls, we love our cherished notions of Paris.  But until we get there, there is a little Paris right in your neighborhood too.  Think local, think organic, — think about heading to your local Farmer’s Market.

Here you will find street vendors, street artists, music and plenty of gorgeous veggies and seasonal fruit all lined up in a pretty row.  Grab that adorable tote and head to the Market this week.  Check out a type of food you’ve never explored before, maybe Egyptian style baklava? or how about Lebanese?  Then pick up some posies for your table.

Either way get ready to explore and do some people watching!

Let me know how your adventure goes!  Either comment below or hashtag on Instagram with your fantastic pics!  Either way, thanks so much for watching!

See you Next Week,

Desiree

 

How to be Seduced by Your Life, Step 2

Last week you learned how to bring your attention back to your own life in step 1.

This week it’s all about learning how to focus that attention into seeing the beautiful story, not the lackluster one.

You’ve already started a practice of journaling every morning, now up the ante by using that journal time to focus on three things: A pleasure you’ve received, something you’re proud of yourself for doing, and a passion, desire or curiosity that your interested in exploring.

There’s more tips and tricks in the video. Have fun with it and let me know how it goes.

Below is a printable you can download/save, and print off to remind you of your prompts.

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See you next week when we dive into step three of how to seduce your life.

Thanks for watching!

Beauty & Means: A Few of My Favorite Things

This week I have three great finds I know you’re going to Love!  Watch the video to find out more.  I have links at the bottom to help you find it online.  Hope you enjoy!

 

  1. The book “How to Be Parisian Wherever You Are” can be found on Amazon right here: Buy The Book

 

  1. Healthy Hoof Intensive Protein Treatment can be found online.  I found 1 oz for $3.18 on beauty deals… Here’s the Link.  The jar I have in the video is 4 oz.  I’ve never used beauty deals before, so use at your own risk.  I bought mine at a local hair and nail beauty supply store.  Love this stuff!

 

  1. Lucky Scent’s website can be found here:  Lucky Scent.  Definitely check out their Top Picks tab.  They have curated sample/perfume lists by popular scent notes.  It’s ridiculously fun!

Thanks for watching!  See you Next week, and in the mean time, what’s your favorite stuff?