That person you had to go above and beyond for… That one client you spent hellacious amounts of time convincing to work with you… Or trying to make happy by sacrificing more time and effort for?
That one person you had to jump through hoops to finally get a date with? Interviewing for the position of girlfriend/boyfriend? Grilled on your interests and motives?
How often did that work out for you?
How often did your extra effort make that demanding narcissistic client thrilled to their toes? Your biggest, most generous fan?
How often did that begrudging date turn into the best time ever? Your best friend and the love of your life? Supportive, kind, generous?
And how fun was it trying to win them over? Working extra hard for someone who’s never grateful?
It wasn’t, was it? It sucked.
So why do it? If you can’t have fun with the person sitting across from you — client or lover, don’t do it.
If they’re not thrilled to hang out with you or work with you — walk away.
We think we can win over difficult people, but difficult people derive their power from getting suckers, like you, trying to win them over. As soon as you do — its over. They lose their power and you might expect something in return for all your effort.
They know this subconsciously. You will never win them over. Be polite but firm with them. Stick to your guns, and let them walk.
Repeat after me: I don’t negotiate with terrorists.
And people who threaten you, even subtly, with leaving or finding someone else to do their taxes or plan their wedding are terrorizing you.
What are you trying to prove anyway? And to whom?
Skip the middleman and give yourself the approval and love you’re looking for.