Women having been attempting to buy elegance for a long time. But the essence and power of elegance can’t be bought. It’s something that must be cultivated from the inside out.
This is all a bit mysterious, though, and begs the question, what exactly is elegance? My favorite definition comes from one of my favorite people:
“Elegance is refining your life so that what’s left is rich, meaningful and effective.” — Tonya Leigh Rising
Elegance is the careful, quiet, confident work of letting go, — of releasing all that isn’t adding to overall mix of you and your life, — of simplifying. And therein lies it’s power. When we subtract what isn’t working, what isn’t us, we have more room to magnify what is working, and what is us.
When we magnify and highlight who we are, what we love, and our own personal style: We have an elegant woman — a woman of style and substance. Iconic. Unique. Unlike anyone else. A woman who is willing to stand out, to be seen exactly as she is (with her flaws and imperfections), in her own personal style (instead of the style of the moment).
Elegance asks you to stop trying so hard to be someone else, and instead embrace who you are. Stop trying to look different than you are, to look like that girl over there, asks elegance. Stop trying to give people what you believe they want. Stop trying so hard to fill in the blanks, fix the problems, and rectify your flaws.
Instead of trying to become someone else, become more of yourself. If you don’t look good in dark colors, stop trying to wear them even when they’re “in.” If you hate small talk and chit chat, stop engaging in it to make others comfortable. Be mysterious, be thoughtful, …be more you.
Rather than conform, have the courage to reinvent your “flaws” into the unique powers they really are. If you aren’t traditionally beautiful, why bother trying to be? You can be striking instead, and far more powerful by embracing it.